What the Jak & Daxter People Do in Their Downtime
by Sandy87
Summary: Exactly what the title says. I host a very stupid talk show of some sorts, and of course the insanity that follows me and is a part of me comes into play. Silliness!


Disclaimer: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: AVOID THE DARK ECO BOXES! Er, wait, that's Daxter's line... I dun own him, or Jak, or anybody else from the Precursor Legacy. Naughty Dog owns them guys. I just own a copy of it. AND YOU CAN'T HAVE MY COPY OF J&D! GET YER OWN!  
  
Being the insane girl that I am, I decide to host a mini-talk-show with various J&D characters. Let the insanity begin now! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- ::hackhackcough:: Uh, yeah...  
  
  
  
What the Jak and Daxter People Do in Their Downtime  
  
Sandy87: Hiya, peoples! Welcome to the one and only edition of...uh, what's this show called again? Oh, never mind. I'm Sandy87. Well, actually, my name's Kristi. Sandy's my dog; I'm just borrowing her name. And '87 is my birthyear. But, for the duration of this particular fic, I am Sandy87. Please give a warm hello to Jak and Daxter, from the video game of the same name!  
  
Daxter: ::walks on stage:: Hey!  
  
Sandy87: 'Hey', yourself. What's up? ::looks around:: Where's Jak?  
  
Daxter: In my present form, just about everything is 'up', compared to me. Now, if I were my normal hot self...  
  
Sandy87: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all heard what you think of yourself. ::muttering:: Crazy male hormones. ::perks up:: You never said where Jak was.  
  
Daxter: I think he and Keira are getting icecream...or something. ::hops up on table:: Do you realize how increadably SHORT I feel?  
  
Sandy87: Well, let's see. Considering you were probably around five feet tall before that little incident, and that you're now only a quarter of that (that's fifteen inches to those of you with poor math skills)... I'd say you feel very short right now. ::looks around again:: SECURITY!  
  
Flut-Flut: ::runs into room:: Squawk?  
  
Sandy87: I said 'security', not 'squawk-ity'! Shoo!  
  
Flut-Flut: ::pulls Daxter's ears:: Coo... ::runs off stage::  
  
Sandy87: Hang on a sec, would ya? I need to tighten up the security around here. We don't want anyone...uninvited...comming in, do we? ::runs off to check door locks::  
  
Daxter: Well, while she's gone... Meistro! :: upbeat, old-school music begins to play:: Thank you. ::Daxter does his bad renditions of some very old dances::  
  
Sandy87: ::staring at Daxter's awful dancing:: Oi, and I though I was bad... Hey! You get off'a my clarinet! ::waves arms at muse:: It's your fault all this insanity's in my head in the first place! Now get out here before I have to call in reinforcements! ::muse runs out of building:: Good riddence. ::sits in her big, fluffy velvet chair:: Well, since it's obvious that we won't be seeing anyone new for a while, let's start the questions. ::pulls out cue cards:: What would you do if you were stra- Wait a minute...these aren't my cards! These are from that stupid dating game show!  
  
::host from 'that stupid dating game show' comes in and takes his cards::  
  
Sandy87: Okay, here's my real cue cards. I may have the best memory ever, but I also have the world's worst case of stage fright that manifests itself in forgetting lines! Anyway, what is it that you do when you're not working with Jak in your oh-so-cool game?  
  
Daxter: Well, I do any number of things. Sometimes I'll race Dead Man's Gorge - by the way, my best time's thirty seconds flat - and sometimes I... ::begins to ramble about all the awsome things he's never done in his life::  
  
::an hour later:: Sandy87: ::sarcastically:: Yes, I'm sure you're all that and a bag o' chips, too. Now for the second question. This is one that's bothered me for quite a while. Daxter, why in the WORLD did you jump between Jak and Keira!?  
  
::Jak and Keira walk in. Jak is licking icecream off his fingers::  
  
Sandy87: Uh, skip that last one, Dax. We can't discuss such matters in front of certain people.  
  
Keira: What do you mean, 'certain people'? ::suspiciously:: You weren't talking about us, were you?  
  
Daxter: Ye-MMM!  
  
Sandy87: ::clamps her hands over Daxter's big mouth:: No, no, of course we weren't! We were, uh, discussing fleas! Yeah, that's it! Fleas! Daxter's got more fleas than, uh, my dog! He was just wondering, er...  
  
Daxter: ::pries hands off:: How I was supposed to get rid of them.  
  
Sandy87: ::laughs nervously:: Yeah, what he said. Hey, sit down you two; you make me nervous.  
  
::Jak and Keira take their seats::  
  
Sandy87: That's better. Now, since I'm supposed to be interviewing you guys, I guess we may as well get started. Jak, what do you do when you're not working?  
  
::Jak opens his mouth, but is interupted::  
  
Daxter: He's a stunt double on Dragonball Z for all them Super Saya- whatchyamacallits. All ya do is give 'im some Yellow Eco, and ya got the cool glowy aroura and the fireballs, all in one neat little package!  
  
Keira: ::muttering:: I though they were ki balls...  
  
Sandy87: ::grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary:: And just how would you know this?  
  
Keira: ::blushing:: Well, sometimes I watch the guys rehearse... I guess I picked it up somewhere along the way.  
  
Sandy87: ::thinking:: This is such good fodder. ::out loud:: So, besides watching Jak on the DBZ set, what else do you do?  
  
Keira: Well, I used to work as a part-time waitress at this really cheesy fast food drive-in place, but I quit after I fell on their stupid skates and twisted my ankle. Now I mostly just do repairs in a mechanics shop.  
  
Sandy87: ::thinking:: She better not be insulting Sonic! That's my favorite fastfood place!  
  
Samos: ::flying on stage:: Hey, you never asked me what I did!  
  
Sandy87: How on Earth did you get in here!?  
  
Samos: ::pointing:: The door.  
  
Sandy87: Gotta get that fixed...later. Okay, since Samos just suddenly flew in here, why don't we let him tell us what he does in his free time.  
  
Samos: Free time? FREE TIME!? I don't have any 'free time'. I spend every waking moment searching for the Precursors' secrets! And I still don't know anything...  
  
Sandy87: ::quietly:: That makes two of us. ::louder:: Well, have you tried asking the dirt? I mean, if they're older than dirt...  
  
Samos: ::quickly:: Hey, good idea! Thanks! ::flies off stage::  
  
Sandy87: Yeah, so, anyway... Hey, we'd better lock the door before -  
  
::Gol and Maia appear on stage::  
  
Sandy87: -that happens. Oi. What do you stupidos want?  
  
Maia: Stupid!? You're calling me STUPID!?!  
  
Sandy87: Actually, I could think of other things to call you. Most of them to do with your clothes...or your lack thereof. Your brother's the really stupid one. You're just...in need of a shirt.  
  
Maia: ::jaw drops:: Wh...why... y-y-y-you little... little...little... ::raises fist::  
  
Sandy87: ::dodges punch:: What, can't take the insult? Why's that? Because you know IT'S TRUE? Is that it? Hm?  
  
::Sandy87 and Maia begin a catfight/insult contest::  
  
::later:: Daxter: How long have they been at it?  
  
Maia: Hairball!  
  
Keira: ::glances at wall clock:: Over three hours now.  
  
Sandy87: I've been called worse... I'm out of things to call you and keep this story's rating acceptable. ::kicks Maia's unprotected gut; Maia doubles over:: See why you need thick clothes?  
  
Gol: I didn't expect either of them to go this long... Women are so unpredictable.  
  
Jak: ::nods::  
  
::much later:: Sandy87: Ow...that crazy lady pulls hair...hard.  
  
Keira: I should'a warned you. She doesn't fight like you do; you fight with your feet, like a guy. She's a catfighting master.  
  
Sandy87: Yeah, no kidding. I think we should wrap this up... I'm too sore.  
  
Daxter: And WHERE is our payment?  
  
Sandy87: Here. ::tosses Power Cell to Jak::  
  
Daxter: Hey, what about me?  
  
Sandy87: You? Uh...take this. ::hands Daxter a bag of cookies::  
  
Keira: Come on guys, I heard there's another author wanting to write a story about us. ::takes Jak's arm and walks off::  
  
Sandy87: Yeah, good idea. See you people later! Ja! ::waves::  
  
::camera fades to black::  
  
Sandy87: ::voiceover:: Ouch! Stupid hair...always getting caught.  
  
Samos: ::flies onto black screen cartoon-style:: I found the secret of the Precursors! Wait, now what am I going to do...?  
  
  
  
  
  
Yeah, I'm insane. It's another stupidfic of mine. There should be a "stupidity" category; all my fics would fit there. Oh, and I don't work at Sonic or anything. It's just that Keira looks like she'd work there. I've got two more ideas for fics. A journal-novelzation thing and a short fluffy piece about riding Flut-Fluts. What about you guys? 


End file.
